Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Politically Inappropriate Halloween Costumes

Slutty unimaginative costumes are back to all of our dismay -_- Why not take it to the next level with a 'Slutty Politically Inappropriate Halloween Costumes,' I say!

Clearly the only time I feel necessary to write in my blog is when it's Halloween. This year is no different. Anyway, in honor of my love of bad puns... here are some really serious costumes you probably shouldn't do:

  • The Gaza Stripper 
  • The Kim Jong Unitard
  • Kobane Ace-of-Base (group costume!)
  • There are so many more that could fit right now, but I'll leave the E.bowler out because it was the less clever of the bunch.
This is also the first year I have not really picked out my costume far in advance. Maybe Kim Jong Unitard would be my best bet, but I'd have to get a bad haircut to pull it off.

Here was me last year as R2D2:

Thursday, October 3, 2013

8 Commonly Mistaken Halloween Costumes

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year.

AND you just want THE BEST halloween costume. You need something better than the year before, clever yet not trying TOO hard to be thought-provoking, and just the right amount of spandex. BUT it's not that easy. There is always the issue that everyone faces: doing a costume you've always wanted to do and having people (obviously less nerdy than you) know who you are. Especially: 1. if you can't execute it well 2. if you are a female v. male. and 3. what your plans are for the evening.

Here are some examples of ideas that either I have done in the past and faced the consequences or some that I wish I could do, but know I will have to take the 5 extra minutes to explain myself (20 if both parties are drunk.)

1.  Artie, The Strongest Man in the WORLD v. Where's Waldo

Anyone who knows Pete and Pete (and you all should) would have no problem distinguishing them. It's CLEARLY visible. But... sigh... we know the condescending reactions you'd get from your average James Markle Jr., "Oh were you trying to be Where's Waldo?" -_-
The ONLY appropriate reply is 7 words and then you can run away. No explanation.

OR if you are feeling spry, "Damn, you know what, I was going for the USMNT."

2. Bruce Lee v. Kill Bill

Bruce Lee's character in his final film Game of Death wore this iconic number during his fight scene in the pagoda. That is also where Tarantino is said to have selected it and other themes in the Kill Bill series. Now, as a girl attempting this costume, the first thing someone would say to me, "oh, sweet, Kill Bill, but where's your sword and blonde hair?" I could Kung Fu them in the face to reinforce my character... or just find a sword because I love Kill Bill too. #RulesoftheInternet63

3. Link v. Peter Pan

I approached a slutty Peter Pan whilst at college Halloween party once and to my dismay it wasn't link and she did NOT want 10 rupees for her spandex short shorts.

4. April O'Neil v. Breaking Bad

Not that you would ever chose April over Leonardo, but if you even TRIED( this year in particular) be prepared, "BITCH."

5. Samus v. Transformer

Everybody likes a little Metroid, right? Oh... just a small select and prestigious percentile?... well then, for all others who are mildly aware, you are probably now just some background bot from a Michael Bay movie. Know you metals people!

6. Robocop v. Thomas Bangalter (Daft Punk)

Now that everyone and their mom thinks they are Daft Punk fans... don't even TRY being Robocop* this year.                   *especially in a suit.

7. Khal Drogo v. Shang Tsung (Mortal Kombat)

Similarly, going into Season 3, Game of Thrones is the mega-series (book or tube) that has changed the way we serve bread and salt. Don't think you can be Shang Tsung (obscure MK character  without also knowing some key phrases in Dothraki. You know you are going to be asked. 
*PS: Props on the rippling muscles and sexy beard.

8. Daenerys Targaryen v. Shakira

AND as if this didn't happen to me last year... Just when you think you are the Mother of Dragons, everyone wants to see if your hips don't lie. DRACARYS!!!

Other costume confusions if you are either with the wrong people or are bad at making costumes:
  • The Native American from the VIllage People v. Pocahontas (if you are female)
  • Eddy Gordo v. Cool Runnings
  • Hall & Oates v. Double Dragon
  • Shao Kahn v. Shredder
  • E.Honda v. Yoko Zuna
  • Petunia (Little Pete's Tattoo) v. Jessica Rabbit
  • Edward Grimley v. Pee Wee Herman 
  • Poison Ivy v. The Little Mermaid
Good luck to you and the untrained eye.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Loveless on New Years

No - I'm not talking about MEN haha. I am talking about what to wear. I'll be heading to Essex in NYC for New Years with some pretty fly kids, so I figured I would go to a local boutique last night to scope out some options. Needless to say I was not feeling anything and I can be pretty imaginative with fashion. These two were the only ones I tried on: 1. I thought was neat because it reminded me of Mork and Mindy. 2. I'm sick of sequin and just liked the 60's vibe and the zippers! However, both of these are not anything interesting enough and clearly don't have enough pleather.

I will give it another go - or come up with some combination of something I already have. I'm totally under-prepared this Holiday Season!


Friday, December 21, 2012

Fat like Santa

Hey guys,

It's time we sat down and had an intervention with Santa. The dude totally promotes obesity for our elders, it's almost as bad as childhood obesity. Do you even want to know how many cookies he eats in one night? didn't think so! Santa, we aren't judging you, we just want to help because we care about you (...and maybe the safety of any incoming presents.)

I know you are wondering "oh, another lifestyle post? Where are the holiday fashion inspirations? Moar fashion Kristine!" Truth be told, I am behind in strategically planning the most killer outfits for Christmas and New Year's Eve, but health is just as important. You probably wouldn't wear your killer holiday outfit if you felt like shit in it?
Anyway, let's be real! The Holidays crush our caloric souls and we need to combat it preemptively before Tia Maria stops by with enough food for an army. I've been reading up on all the tips and trick: "low-cal drink choices", "trim the tree and your bod,"and the list goes on.  So, thanks for FabFitFun for compiling this list of the Holiday Food show-down!

Check out the best and worst dishes of the season:
Winner: Shrimp Cocktail
Protein-packed, low in cals, and virtually fat free, this is one holiday appetizer to load up on all season long.
Loser: Crab Cakes
Fish is healthy, right? Well, not when it’s mixed with loads of mayo then breaded and fried. Sorry friends, but this is one crab to throw back into the sea.

Winner: Hummus and Veggies
Dip with confidence when you indulge in this dynamic duo. Nutritionally dense, low-cal veggies are the perf crunch counterpart for fiber-filled, heart-healthy hummus.
Loser: Crackers and Cheese Dip
While dips can be delicious, they are generally loaded with cheese, cream, butter, and everything else on the naughty list. Paired with empty-calorie-filled crackers, this is just not a winning combination.
Winner: Turkey
This bird is a protein powerhouse! Not to mention that turkey is one of the lowest calorie meat options available. Make your selection even healthier by removing fatty skin and choosing white meat over dark.
Loser: Prime Rib
This rich meat comes from the fattiest part of the cow — creating a fat and calorie nightmare. Think 750 calories and 45 grams of fat in an average serving!
Winner: Roasted Potatoes
Potatoes are a great source of potassium and vitamin C. When roasted with a little EVOO, rosemary, and salt, they are a great healthy and tasty side dish!
Loser: Mashed Potatoes
We love a plain potato, but when you load it up with heavy cream, butter and cheese – just say no thank you!
Winner: Baked Sweet Potatoes
Packed with beta-carotene, vitamin C, dietary fiber, and potassium – the bright orange veggie is a sweet, satisfying, and surprisingly healthy side dish! Just make sure to go easy on the toppings that can ruin an otherwise perf holiday treat.
Loser: Stuffing
Stuffed with bread, butter, fatty drippings, and meat, you will feel more stuffed than the bird with this diet disaster. But if you love stuffing as much as we do, just make it your potluck pick and healthify your dish with whole grain bread, chicken stocks, veggies, fruits, and lots of dried herbs instead of all the fat!
Best: Green Beans
Get the holiday green on the table with this valuable veggie! The nutritional giant is a fab source of vitamins A, C, and K, manganese, dietary fiber, potassium, folate, and iron.
Worst: Squash Casserole
It’s a word that every healthy eater should try to avoid – casserole. Typically, these cheesy, creamy, crumbed-topped dishes are just calorie bombs.
Winner: Pumpkin Pie
Have your pie and eat it too. Pumpkin pie is one of your best bets when it comes to holiday desserts. Pumpkin is packed with vitamins and the filling is relatively healthy. Just avoid the crust to make sure you stay on track.
Loser: Pecan Pie
All pies are not in fact the same and pecan is one of your worst picks. Just one slice can pack over 500 giant sugar- and fat-filled calories.
Winner: Champagne
If you are going to have a cocktail, make it champagne. It’s packed with antioxidants, said to lower blood pressure, and at just 95 calories a glass, it’s a dieter’s dream!
Loser: Egg Nog
At over 250 calories and 20 grams of fat per serving, let’s toast to leaving this creamy cocktail in the bowl.
All pretty accurate findings, but I wish they put the Cheese and Crackers on the Nice list this year --- hahaha why, Santa. WHY!!!


PS: Happy Birthday Jesus!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Outer Space, or something like it

Hey guys,

Not necessarily outer space, but I just stumbled upon this sweet article on ThatstheHookup! They've shed light on a photograph's work of  "All Of Your Possessions In One Photo" where you take all of your possesions outside of your space and put it outside. AND I think it's awesome! http://thatsthehookup.com/art/do-you-have-a-storage-space-for-your-stuff/

"Photographer Huang Qingjun spent nearly 10 years traveling remote areas of China with his camera for a project titled “Jiadang”, or “Family Stuff”.  Qingjun asked a number of families to drag all of their stuff outside their house and pose with it.  The photos display the lives of his countrymen through their posessions.   The resulting portraits are both awe-inspiring and humbling."

What would yours look like?

Just GOOGLE and you can see so many more!! ->MoarrrR!

Thanks to that's the Hookup posting about this awesome series of photos!thatsthehookup.com


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

GET UNREAL with Gisele and Tom Brady!

You heard me!

Gisele Brasileira Bundchen, Tom Brady, Matt Damon, Jason Bourne, the inventor of Twitter, and John Legend are ALL UNREAL! Every so often I talk health and fitness and when I stumbled upon UNREAL Candy I had to spread the word~ almost sounds too good to be true! 

They just launched last month in 30,000 stores nationwide. Free of corn syrup, hydrogenated fats, GMOs, artificial colors, flavors or preservatives, these candies look and taste a lot like the familiar snacks we grew up with—think M&Ms, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups—without the crap that makes them so bad for us, priced exactly the same: $1.19 for Peanut Butter Cups!!!! I am about to convince my roommate to go half on a bulk amazon order... Don't tell her!

Watch at 2:10 for a laugh! haha 

No, it’s not USDA Certified Organic, nor is UNREAL fair trade certified. But considering the Holidays are just around the corner, it’s nice to have options. Even an infographic below! They have stolen my n3rdy heart!



Friday, November 23, 2012

How soon is now?

It's been so long since I have heard, "How soon is now" by The Smiths (and coincidently the theme song to Charmed, every girl's favorite TriQuetra!)

Well, as I tend to do, I search the internetz for information so I can know everything about everything. This when I stumbled upon a great snippet from the musical depths of time:

Interviewer: Did you hear t.A.T.u's version of 'How Soon Is Now'?
Morrissey: Yes, it was magnificent. Absolutely. Again, I don't know much about them.
Interviewer: They're the teenage Russian lesbians.
Morrissey: Well, aren't we all?


Thank you Morrissey, that is all.